i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This is my gift to your gina
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
