My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
