Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
