Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
