She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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