handjob tips. give me some.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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