think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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