Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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