sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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