4 words: hood of his car
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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