first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
