i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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