Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
