I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So. Much. Porn.
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