toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize