i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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