why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
