he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
