never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm always down for nudity.
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