Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dignity is for republicans.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The air taste purple.
Randomize
