I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
