I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
