my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
