apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
