He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
