cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
