Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
