so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
