Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Fuck appropriateness.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize