I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
