Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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