Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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