she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Your penis caused this!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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