is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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