I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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