when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
