You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
