I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
