So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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