Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
