That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I yelled at your uterus for you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
