East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
