The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Drake has all the answers
My life is pants optional.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
