this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
