I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize