laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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