Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
