Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She's the barista slut.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
