how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
