Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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