phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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