He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
