they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
