just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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