question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
