is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
