I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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