i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I did not marry a roomba.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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